Stick a Fork In It

Is it done?

That book you've been writing. That degree you've been wanting. That project that could change your career. That budget that could get your finances in order. That conversation that could repair a relationship. That business plan you started. That closet you were cleaning out. That vegetable garden you've been planting.

What do you have in your life that's undone? You know...those things that we talk about. Those things that we start but never finish. The very things that we have invested some of our time, money and resources into. Those things we SAY are important, but our actions prove otherwise.

When it comes to getting those items done, two options come to mind.

Option #1

You can take the approach that "Sometimes, done is better than perfect." Want to write a book? Stop waiting for a burst of creativity or a large block of time. On your next lunch break, pull out paper and pen or open up Word and start writing. As someone who has written and published several fiction books, I've discovered a great button on the keyborad. It's called "delete". If you don't like what you've written, you can just delete it. But you can't delete what you don't write.

Been putting off a difficult conversation? Go ahead and set a time to talk or just call them up. You can start with "I don't know exactly what to say, but we need to talk. I feel..."

Want to plant a garden? Stop looking at that plot of land in the backyard and go to your local nursery and ask how to plant a few of your favorites indoors or in a small area outside. Buy the soil, the container, some seeds, and start planting.

Unfortunately, we can get so caught up in doing it right, making it perfect, having the best setting, or wanting to only do something when we know we can "give it the attention it needs", that days, weeks, months and years go by. So, I say you go with the theory that "done can be better than perfect" and get moving on your project today!

Option #2

Let it go. Simply decide that you are no longer interested in that goal and release yourself of the burden. Maybe you wanted to write a book, but now you don't. Maybe you wanted to plant a vegetable garden, but your local "Whole Foods" is serving you just fine. Maybe you wanted to finish school, but at this point, it's no longer a priority for you. If that's the case, give yourself permission to let it go and move on.

Who cares what people may think? It's your life, and you have the right to change your mind.

No matter which option you choose, the good news is that you can finally take that project and stick a fork in it...because it will be done!

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As the RADICAL Success Coach, Doreen Rainey helps her clients take charge of their professional and personal life.  To subscribe to her FREE bi-weekly newsletter and get 7 RADICAL Tips that you can use today, visit her website.

Is Selfish a Dirty Word?

One of the biggest challenges people usually face is making decisions that are in their own best interest. Some believe that when they "put themselves first", "focus on their own interest", or "make a priority of their welfare", they are acting in an unacceptable way. They are acting selfishly.

By definition, selfish means concerned with one's own interest, benefits and welfare - regardless of others. Is there any surprise that the last thing people want to be labeled is the "s" word. The challenge comes in when we go too far on the other end of the spectrum - selfless. Giving in to the needs of everyone, everywhere, every time - regardless of your own priorities or what's best for you.

If you consistently ignore your own wants and needs for the sake of others, you can become resentful, bitter, and lose yourself. By continually allowing others to dictate how you spend your time, your energy and your resources, you may quickly find yourself completely drained. And the result? You have nothing left to give.

However, when you take care of yourself, investing in those things that make you happy, give you joy, that are important to you, and help you become your best person, it can be a win-win. You would have fostered fulfillment and satisfaction within yourself , while at the same time, allowing those around you to benefit from it. How? Because when you are at your best, you have more to give -and with a better attitude.

What are some ways you can begin the process of investing in you?

• Say no when necessary.
• Make your health a priority.
• Set aside time to focus on you.
• Spend time on your hobbies.

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Doreen Rainey is a Life Coach and Speaker who helps her clients Get RADICAL! Join her for her upcoming Get RADICAL Women's Retreat.  To find out more about all of her upcoming events, visit her website.

Becoming a Champion

At some point in our lives, we've all witnessed it. For some of us, we have experienced it. It is the thrill of being a champion. Being THE winner. Being #1. Hearing the applause of those around you as they celebrate your accomplishment.

It's in those moments that we look back on all the hard work, blood, sweat, and tears it took to get there and admit that it was worth it.

But if you haven't had those moments lately, it could be because you have strayed away from doing the hard work. To me, being a champion is the easy part. It's BECOMING a champion where the road gets tough.

Becoming a champion means that you're in training...and training requires two things: Commitment and Discipline. If you've been lacking in one, or both, of these areas lately, I would venture to guess that you haven't stood in the winner's circle in quite a while.

What championship are you working towards? Is it a college degree? Getting in shape? Eliminating your credit card debt? Starting your own business? Perhaps it's getting a new job, going after a promotion, or saving for a house. Whatever it is you are going for - now is the time to do an honest gut check on your commitment and your discipline.

Ask yourself: What does it really take to get what I want?

Do you need to get up early? Stay up late? Turn off the TV? Cut up the credit cards? Skip dessert? Go to the gym daily? Take on an new project at work? Do more professional networking?

My challenge to you is to choose one area where you're going for the gold. Pick one goal that you've let a lack of commitment and lack of discipline get you off track. Now, decide to recommit yourself and to have daily discipline towards reaching that goal.

Grab a pen and paper right now and write down exactly what you will do to move toward your goal - then read it every day to remind you of what action you must take . By doing so, it won't be long before you'll once again feel the thrill of victory!

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Doreen Rainey is a Life Coach and Speaker who helps her clients Get RADICAL! For a FREE 30 day membership to the RADICAL Lifestyle Women's Network or to subscribe to her bi-weekly newsletter, visit her website. Join Doreen in the Washington, DC area for the 2010 Get RADICAL Women's Conference featuring Jillian Michaels, Fitness Trainer from The Biggest Loser and Rhonda Britten, Emmy Winner Life Coach from Starting Over and Celebrity Fit Club.

Your Calling Circle

I use to have a cell phone plan that only allowed me to call a certain group of people at no charge. The company called it my "calling circle". With a limited number of spots, I had to think carefully, and choose wisely, who I would let in.

Who would be worth my coveted free airtime? Family? Friends? A couple of coworkers? And I wasn't the only one making this type of decision. I knew other people who had the same type of plan. Would I make it into their calling circle? Have I fostered enough relationships to be worthy of someone else's talk time?

Fast forward a few years, and most of the plans now allow you to call anybody and everybody at any time. People no longer have to think about who to let in and who to exclude. That's what technology has done to us.

With so much access to people and information available in every possible form, we no longer have defined parameters of deciding who, or what, gets let into our "circle". We get emails from companies we don't remember signing up for. We get "friend requests" from people we barely knew years ago - or don't know at all. We have access to the Internet from just about anywhere. And we have hundreds of television and radio stations vying for our time and attention. No wonder it has become so challenging to manage our circle.

With a New Year just a week away, now might be the best time to become the gatekeeper of your circle again. To evaluate all the things that have infiltrated your circle - the good, the bad, and the complete time waster. Your circle is valuable space and should only be occupied by those people, and things, that contribute to your joy, fulfillment, peace and to the path that leads towards your family, personal, and career goals.

What Will the New Year Bring For You?

If you're like me, in the midst of all the holiday preparations, you're thinking about 2010 and what the new year will bring.

Knowing some of the things I want to accomplish, I've already become part of a mentor program and have joined a business mastermind group - both of which begin after the new year.

Taking a few steps now to set things up in January is a great way to get your year off to a fantastic start.  And if you're looking for a way to set your goals, gain focus and create a practicle plan of action, have I got the program for you! 

Check out my brand new self-paced coaching program.

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  7 Steps for Taking Charge of Your Professional and Personal Life

• Are you ready to make changes in your professional or personal life but not sure how?
• Do you have goals and aspirations that you have yet to achieve?
• Does the thought of doing something different scare you - even though you know you need to make a change?
• What would it be like to define success for yourself and then take positive steps to achieve it?
• How would your life be different if you reached your goals in your finances, career, health, and/or life balance?

If any of these questions apply to you, now is the time to invest in you with this brand new self-paced coaching program.

This step-by-step coaching program shares how to take bold and courageous action towards achieving your self-defined success. Giving you a blueprint for taking charge of your professional and personal life, you’ll deepen the learning about your passion and purpose and move forward in action to create the life – and the lifestyle - you deserve.

Your 3-CD set and accompanying workbook is not a “one size fits all” solution. I understand that your goals and dreams are just that - yours. Knowing this, the program provides an interactive format that allows you to focus on your unique goals, ambition and aspirations, so that you can design the action steps necessary for your own success - at your own pace.

Being released on January 14, 2010, you can save now by taking advantage of pre-release discouts.  Find out more.

You Gotta Know When to Hold 'Em

You got to know when to hold 'em,
know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away
And know when to run.

I love the lyrics from The Gambler by Kenny Rogers. At the end of every year, many people, including me, start thinking about and evaluating where they are in life.  They take stock of what they have accomplished and what they may want to be different in the upcoming year.  One of the best ways to do that is to follow Kenny's instructions!

You got to know when to hold ‘em:
What’s working well in your life? What is it in your relationships, career, business, or finances that’s worth holding on to? These are the things that make you happy, bring you joy, and keep you motivated to keep moving in a positive direction. These are the things you want more of in your life.  You want to hold on to the people, processes, and habits that are serving you well and giving you the results you want.

Know when to fold ‘em:
What do you need to just let go of? Is there something – or someone – in your life that you need to say “enough”? It can be hard, emotional, and challenging to release those things that bring you down, drain your energy, and cause you pain and suffering. Maybe it’s a job that’s no longer challenging.  Maybe it’s a client that has worn out their welcome. Maybe it’s a friendship that has run its course. Maybe it’s a habit that you have to break once and for all.

Know when to walk away:
I heard a woman say that when she started her business and got a couple of billion dollar companies as clients, everyone thought she’d reached the pinnacle of success. But while the money was good, the clients were wearing her - and her staff - out. So what did she do? She walked away from them and started working with new clients. And she is just as successful and has never looked back. Walking away can be one of the hardest things you will do, but it can also be the thing to give you your life back.

Know when to run:
Whether you run towards something or away from something, it can be an exhilarating experience. Know what you want out of life – and then be bold and courageous enough to run after it!

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Doreen Rainey is a Life Coach and Speaker who helps her clients Get RADICAL! For a FREE 30 day membership to the RADICAL Lifestyle Women's Network or to subscribe to her bi-weekly newsletter, visit her website. Join Doreen in the Washington, DC area for the 2010 Get RADICAL Women's Conference featuring Jillian Michaels, Fitness Trainer from The Biggest Loser and Rhonda Britten, Emmy Winner Life Coach from Starting Over and Celebrity Fit Club.

So You Want to Be a...

Periodically, people contact me to get insight and information about becoming a life coach. They’ll share that they are the ones that all their friends come to for advice. They tell me how they want to help people reach their full potential. They’ll talk about the fact that they know “complainers” and people who are not happy and they want to help them find contentment and satisfaction.

As the conversation continues, the questions they ask begin to revolve around whether they should get certified, how they should market their business to get clients, and how much to charge.

I always tell them that before they do any of that, they should GET a life coach. For many, the thought never occurred to them – and I find it amusing that a person who wants to become a life coach has never thought to get one. But that’s not the kicker! Some of these people who say they want to build a business around coaching others get really quiet when we begin to talk about how much one-on-one coaching can cost.

And that always leads me to ask this question: If you (person who wants to be a coach), don’t see the value in having a coach, how can you expect to convince others of the value of hiring you?

I came across this blog entry the other day, and it sums up my thoughts exactly!
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Watch the money

"How much life insurance do you have?"

Zig Ziglar liked to say that with that one question, you could tell if someone was a successful life insurance agent. If they're not willing to buy it with their own money, how can they honestly persuade someone else to do so?

If you're in the music business but you never buy tickets or downloads, can you really empathize with the people you're selling to?

My favorite: if you work for a non-profit and you don't give money to charity, what exactly are you doing in this job? I've met some incredibly generous people in the charitable world, but I can also report that a huge number of people—even on the fundraising side—would happily cross the street and risk a beating in order to avoid giving $100 to a cause that's not their own. And the shame of it is that this inaction on their part keeps them from experiencing the very emotion that they try so hard to sell.

Money is more than a transfer of value. It's a statement of belief. An ad agency that won't buy ads, a consultant who won't buy consulting, and a waiter who doesn't tip big—it's a sign, and not a good one. Seth's Blog

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Doreen Rainey is a Life Coach and Speaker who helps her clients Get RADICAL! For a FREE 30 day membership to the RADICAL Lifestyle Women's Network or to subscribe to her bi-weekly newsletter, visit her website. Join Doreen in the Washington, DC area for the 2010 Get RADICAL Women's Conference featuring Jillian Michaels, Fitness Trainer from The Biggest Loser and Rhonda Britten, Emmy Winner Life Coach from Starting Over and Celebrity Fit Club.

Looking For the Easy Way Out

It's Called Work for a Reason

I love this book by Larry Winget. It highlights the best approach people should take to achieve any goal they have set for themselves - WORK. But sadly, in our world of instant gratification, getting by, or getting over, the concept of work has gotten lost.

Dictionary.com defines work as “exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something; labor; toil.” But through my years as an HR Director, a college professor, and life coach, I've come to realize one very important, but disappointing, fact:

Most people don’t want to exert, give effort, labor or toil. They just want results. And they begin to spend more time trying to figure out how to get the results they want with the least amount of effort, instead of putting in the "sweat equity" to produce the desired outcome.

People want to go back to school to finish or advance their education. But then they fail to commit the time necessary to study and learn. Instead, they want to do “just enough” to get by. School is not about getting a piece of paper, it’s about learning and challenging your mind. If you’re in it for the piece of paper, you probably aren’t working that hard.

People want to advance on their job – be rewarded for their efforts through position and salary. Yet, they are looking to do just enough to meet the minimum requirements – all the while waiting for that big promotion to come through. What would it be like if you showed up on time, gave 100%, became a real team player, shared ideas, paid attention to details, refused to let a customer go unsatisfied, or never allowed your reports, presentations, or any product to leave your desk without your full confidence that it was the absolute best you could do?

People want to lose weight – so they take pills, drink teas, get shots, or try to get through 7 days of the latest celebrity diet. They are looking for that quick fix without exerting, giving effort, laboring or toiling. They don’t want to consistently exercise. They don’t want to focus on nutrition and balanced meals in the correct portion size. They don’t want to do the work.

Finally, people want a successful business. They have big dreams of doing what they enjoy and getting paid for it. They have visions of providing for their family, taking grand vacations and giving to others. They talk to anyone who will listen about their big ideas. Yet, they only give minimum effort to writing their business plan, sticking to a daily work schedule, networking, managing their money, giving good customer service and following up on potential leads.

So, if you are wondering why you aren’t getting the results you really want, maybe you should check you level of exertion, effort, labor and toil.

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Doreen Rainey is a Life Coach and Speaker who helps her clients Get RADICAL! For a FREE 30 day membership to the RADICAL Lifestyle Women's Network or to subscribe to her bi-weekly newsletter, visit her website. Join Doreen in the Washington, DC area for the 2010 Get RADICAL Women's Conference featuring Jillian Michaels, Fitness Trainer from The Biggest Loser and Rhonda Britten, Emmy Winner Life Coach from Starting Over and Celebrity Fit Club.

Living Up to YOUR Personal Brand Promise

Throughout my HR career, I've interviewed many people who loved to sit across from me and talk about their experience, skills and education - and all they could bring to the job. They had ideas, information and suggestions on how they could come into our organization and improve processes, procedures, and the bottom line. They made it clear that if we hired them, they would give 110% every day.

Yea..well...it all sounds good.

While many of the new employees did just what they were hired to do, and some even did more, there were also those who failed to live up to their own hype. They didn't meet the expectations they set about their work performance. There were days when we would love to see them give just 50%. In the end, they failed to live up to their personal brand promise.

Your personal brand promise is being who you say you are...whether it's related to work, your own business, or your personal life. So, of course, I have to ask: Do you live up to your Personal Brand Promise?

At work, do you deliver on the promises you made when you were hired? Are you dependable? Do you focus on doing your best? What does your reputation say about you? Would your peers and leaders say your give 110%, or at least 100%?

Dan Schawbel , personal branding expert, says branding is crucial for a corporate employee:
"If you work for a company, and enjoy doing so, then personal branding becomes the cornerstone for how you move up the hierarchy and become recognized as a leader."

And if you're an entrepreneur, branding yourself, and your company, is crucial to your success. Would your clients say you live up to your brochure? To your marketing? To the expectations you set? Would people who have done business with you refer you to others?

There's nothing more disappointing than deciding to do business with someone and having them NOT live up to their brand promise.

And there's also nothing more disappointing than dealing with individuals, whether they be a friend, coworker, boss, employee, or family member, who doesn't live up to their personal brand promise.

Remember, if you're all hype, with no substance, you'll eventually be found out...and you could lose your job, your client, or worse - your self-respect!

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Doreen Rainey is a Life Coach and Speaker who helps her clients Get RADICAL!

For a FREE 30 day membership to RadicalLifestyle.com or to subscribe to her bi-weekly newsletter, visit her website.

Join Doreen in the Washington, DC area for the 2010 Get RADICAL Women's Conference featuring Jillian Michaels, Fitness Trainer from The Biggest Loser.

Persistence or Stupidity

Regardless of what book you read about success or what successful person you listen to, they will always talk about the characteristic of persistence. The idea that you should never give up, keep going, don't get sidelined, and don't ever stop, is a prevalent theme when it comes to going after your goals.

We've all heard sayings like: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. But is there ever a time when you shouldn't try again? When you should - dare I say it - give up? Should you ever consider letting it go, changing course, pursuing a new direction or simply stopping.

If someone were to ask what it meant to be persistence, it would be fairly easy to give a definition. We may even admire certain people because of their ability to fight through any circumstance to ultimately get what they want.

Persistence has probably shown up in our own lives. Maybe it was sheer persistence that got you through school. Or maybe it was what allowed you to find a way/make a way to buy something you really wanted. Or perhaps it was the way you finally got the man or woman of your dreams.

But in reading Mentored By a Millionaire, by Steven K. Scott, he addresses the ugly side of persistence. The side where there is continued loss no matter how hard the effort. Loss of time, loss of money, loss of motivation, loss of family, loss of friends, or even a loss of self-confidence.

The question is, how do you know when you've ventured over into a level of persistence that is actually more detrimental to your well being? How do you determine when there is really no chance of you getting what you want?

Scott helps us figure it out by defining the critical distinction between what persistence is and what persistence is not.

What Persistence is Not: When failure is contemplated, persistence is not simply a matter of staying the course no matter what. When failure is experienced, persistence is not simply refusing to give up and then trying the same thing over and over again, but with more effort, intensity or frequency.

What Persistence Is: When failure is contemplated, true persistence makes the necessary mid-course corrections to reduce risk, and increase the possibility of success. When failure is experienced, true persistence analyzes various elements or factors that may have caused or contributed to that failure and then design and tries creative alternatives that might result in significant improvement and ultimate success.

In other words, he says successful people should approach each important project or goal expecting problems, setbacks and potential failure to block their path to success. Then utilize their partnering skills to draw on the creative input and resources of others to creatively persist through each problem until they succeed one way or another. If, after all of that, they discover that a project is a "three legged horse", they should "shoot it" rather than race it.

I love that last sentence. It means that you have to really analyze your situation to see if the path you're on will render you the results you want. And while some will say that you still shouldn't give up, you have to make the choice for yourself. For if you are relentlessly pursuing a goal that's a "three legged horse", it can be freeing to give yourself permission to "shoot it" and let it go.

That doesn't make you a failure. It makes you smart.

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Doreen Rainey is a Life Coach and Speaker who helps her clients Get RADICAL!
For a FREE 30 day membership to RadicalLifestyle.com or to subscribe to her bi-weekly newsletter, visit her website.
Join Doreen in the Washington, DC area for the 2010 Get RADICAL Women's Conference featuring Jillian Michaels, Fitness Training from The Biggest Loser.

Membership Has Its Privileges

Working with a life coach one-on-one is a great way to gain focus, take action, and be accountable for establishing professional and personal goals and then designing a plan to achieve them. However, for a variety of reasons, individual coaching is not always an option. That’s why I founded RadicalLifestyle.com.

Whether you are looking for tips, strategies, insight, and information about your career, finances, relationships, or starting your own business, RadicalLifestyle.com is a great source of information from a variety of coaches and experts.

Why Do People Join?

• They are feeling compelled to make real change in their life. They want something more...something different in their finances, relationships, career or health.
• They feel that they are not meeting their full potential and are missing out on all that life has to offer. They have untapped talents and gifts that they want to fully utilize.
• They have let excuses get in the way of their success. Not enough time, too much debt, not enough money, too busy, no support.
• They have allowed fear to become a driving force - stopping them from moving forward. They are filled with doubt, low self-confidence, and procrastination.
• Their life is out of balance. They are feeling stressed, rushed, or overwhelmed.
• They are you ready to get it together. To take charge of their life is their #1 priority.

What's Included in Your Membership?

• How-to articles from that encourage you to take charge of your professional and personal life.
• Invitation-only live teleseminars on various topics to help you take bold action.
• Audio Learning Library of interviews with top coaches, leaders and executives.
• Private, members-only discussion forums where you gain insight from other members.
• Expert Audio Interviews: First-hand accounts from people achieving self-defined success.
• Discounts of coaching programs, teleclasses, and RADICAL products. Tools that are focused on a particular area of your life.
• New information added weekly: New articles, interviews, teleclasses, or coaching programs are added weekly.

Many of our articles, and coaching programs, are available to nonmembers. You can read some of our latest articles here.

If you're interested, you can test drive our program FREE for the first month. Just take a look at our special Membership Overview.

To find out about upcoming teleclasses, Management Webinars, and other products and services, visit our online resource store.

Here's a sample of upcoming programs:

Overcoming Underearning: 5 Week Teleclass

Get RADICAL - At Work and in Life: 4 Week Teleclass

"You Want a Piece of Me?": Managing Conflict in the Workplace Webinar

"You Want Me to Do What?": Creating High Performers Webinar

12-Week Self Study Coaching Program

Are You Above the Line or Below the Line

This was an article I wrote for my last newsletter. It sparked some great feedback so I thought I'd put it on my blog as well.
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It is inevitable. You can't avoid it. You've either experienced it. Are currently experiencing it. Or will experience it in the future. What is "it"?

"It" is something going wrong on your project, your team, with your performance or in achieving your business (or personal) goals.

Whenever something like this happens, you only have two options in how you respond. You will either respond Above the Line or Below the Line. The decision you make will be critical to how successful you will be in moving forward from the situation to seek a resolution.

One of the best business books out there is The Oz Principle: Getting Results through Individual and Organizational Accountability by Roger Conners, Tom Smith, and Craig Hickman. Based on the concept of accountability, the authors challenge anyone dealing with "it" to respond Above the Line.
The dictionary defines accountable as "subject to having to report, explain, justify; being answerable; responsible". Beginning with the words "subject to", this definition implies that there is little choice in the matter and that accountability is confession oriented - viewed as a consequence of bad performance or something going wrong.

Now, check out the authors' definition of accountability: A personal choice to rise above one's circumstances and demonstrate the ownership necessary for achieving desired results. If you accept and act on this definition, you are Above the Line. What does that mean? Take a look:

How to react Above the Line:
See it
Own it
Solve it
Do it
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How to react Below the Line:
Wait and See
Cover Your Tail
Finger Pointing
Ignore/Deny
Confusion/Tell me What to Do
It's not my job
In other words - the blame game

How does this play out? Here are two examples:

Situation #1:
An employee has several meetings with his supervisor about his poor performance, lack of planning and timeliness, and inability to be proactive. When this reaches the critical stage where the employee could lose his job, the employee begins to explain the real issue: his boss isn't giving clear instructions. Other departments aren't providing the needed information causing him to miss deadlines. Also, one of his co-workers has it out for him and has not been very helpful in providing the data needed to complete his reports.

Situation #2
An employee has several meetings with his supervisor about his poor performance, lack of planning and timeliness, and inability to be proactive. When this reaches the critical stage where the employee could lose his job, the employee begins to explain his next steps: he will be sure to follow-up on each stage of all projects to make sure he is following instructions. He will meet with other departments regularly to ensure they work together to get the information needed so that deadlines would be met. Finally, he would set aside personal feelings about co-workers and focus on building a working relationship based on respect and the common goal.

Can you guess who reacted Above the Line?

What about you? When something goes wrong - whether it's in your professional life or your personal life - how do you respond? Does your actions line up with what's Above the Line or what's Below the Line?