Your Calling Circle

I use to have a cell phone plan that only allowed me to call a certain group of people at no charge. The company called it my "calling circle". With a limited number of spots, I had to think carefully, and choose wisely, who I would let in.

Who would be worth my coveted free airtime? Family? Friends? A couple of coworkers? And I wasn't the only one making this type of decision. I knew other people who had the same type of plan. Would I make it into their calling circle? Have I fostered enough relationships to be worthy of someone else's talk time?

Fast forward a few years, and most of the plans now allow you to call anybody and everybody at any time. People no longer have to think about who to let in and who to exclude. That's what technology has done to us.

With so much access to people and information available in every possible form, we no longer have defined parameters of deciding who, or what, gets let into our "circle". We get emails from companies we don't remember signing up for. We get "friend requests" from people we barely knew years ago - or don't know at all. We have access to the Internet from just about anywhere. And we have hundreds of television and radio stations vying for our time and attention. No wonder it has become so challenging to manage our circle.

With a New Year just a week away, now might be the best time to become the gatekeeper of your circle again. To evaluate all the things that have infiltrated your circle - the good, the bad, and the complete time waster. Your circle is valuable space and should only be occupied by those people, and things, that contribute to your joy, fulfillment, peace and to the path that leads towards your family, personal, and career goals.

Don't Be Afraid to B.R.A.G. in 2010

I've heard many people say they don't make New Year's resolutions.  I've even heard some say that resolutions don't mean anything - that it's a waste of energy, effort and time. 

Well, I think the majority of the people that make these type of comments are people who haven't been able to stick to their resolutions!  And even though I have been one to fail to reach a resolution or two over the years, I still think it's a great motivator to get you moving towards your goals.

Now, I do agree that you can decide to make a change at any time in your life.  The moment you make a decision is the moment you have the power to be, do and have something different.  It is true that you don't have to wait for January 1st, however, there is something inspiring about a brand new year.  There's something exciting about feeling like you have a clean slate.  There's something very motivating about the chance to "start over" and do something bigger and better than you have ever done before. 

Last week, I conducted a teleseminar called:  Jumpstart Your 2010 - RADICAL Goalsetting.  This call was designed to help the participants get a headstart on thinking about where they are now and where they want to be at the end of next year.  One way to do that is to B.R.A.G.

Whenever I start working with a new client - I always make them B.R.A.G.  That simply means to set a Big Radical Audacious Goal.  This is the one goal that blows all your other goals out the water.  This is the one goal where even your most supportive friend or family member would have their doubts.  This is the goal that scares the crap out of you  - yet excites you at the same time.

I encouraged the people on the call to do this - and I'm encouraging you as well.

*  Declare your B.R.A.G.
*  Write it down. 
*  Break it down. 
*  And then go for it.

And, if you want some tips on how to set and achieve your B.R.A.G., feel free to take a listen to the teleseminar from last week. 

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Doreen Rainey is a Life Coach and Speaker who helps her clients Get RADICAL! For a FREE 30 day membership to the RADICAL Lifestyle Women's Network or to subscribe to her bi-weekly newsletter, visit her website. Join Doreen in the Washington, DC area for the 2010 Get RADICAL Women's Conference featuring Jillian Michaels, Fitness Trainer from The Biggest Loser and Rhonda Britten, Emmy Winner Life Coach from Starting Over and Celebrity Fit Club.

You Gotta Know When to Hold 'Em

You got to know when to hold 'em,
know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away
And know when to run.

I love the lyrics from The Gambler by Kenny Rogers. At the end of every year, many people, including me, start thinking about and evaluating where they are in life.  They take stock of what they have accomplished and what they may want to be different in the upcoming year.  One of the best ways to do that is to follow Kenny's instructions!

You got to know when to hold ‘em:
What’s working well in your life? What is it in your relationships, career, business, or finances that’s worth holding on to? These are the things that make you happy, bring you joy, and keep you motivated to keep moving in a positive direction. These are the things you want more of in your life.  You want to hold on to the people, processes, and habits that are serving you well and giving you the results you want.

Know when to fold ‘em:
What do you need to just let go of? Is there something – or someone – in your life that you need to say “enough”? It can be hard, emotional, and challenging to release those things that bring you down, drain your energy, and cause you pain and suffering. Maybe it’s a job that’s no longer challenging.  Maybe it’s a client that has worn out their welcome. Maybe it’s a friendship that has run its course. Maybe it’s a habit that you have to break once and for all.

Know when to walk away:
I heard a woman say that when she started her business and got a couple of billion dollar companies as clients, everyone thought she’d reached the pinnacle of success. But while the money was good, the clients were wearing her - and her staff - out. So what did she do? She walked away from them and started working with new clients. And she is just as successful and has never looked back. Walking away can be one of the hardest things you will do, but it can also be the thing to give you your life back.

Know when to run:
Whether you run towards something or away from something, it can be an exhilarating experience. Know what you want out of life – and then be bold and courageous enough to run after it!

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Doreen Rainey is a Life Coach and Speaker who helps her clients Get RADICAL! For a FREE 30 day membership to the RADICAL Lifestyle Women's Network or to subscribe to her bi-weekly newsletter, visit her website. Join Doreen in the Washington, DC area for the 2010 Get RADICAL Women's Conference featuring Jillian Michaels, Fitness Trainer from The Biggest Loser and Rhonda Britten, Emmy Winner Life Coach from Starting Over and Celebrity Fit Club.

So You Want to Be a...

Periodically, people contact me to get insight and information about becoming a life coach. They’ll share that they are the ones that all their friends come to for advice. They tell me how they want to help people reach their full potential. They’ll talk about the fact that they know “complainers” and people who are not happy and they want to help them find contentment and satisfaction.

As the conversation continues, the questions they ask begin to revolve around whether they should get certified, how they should market their business to get clients, and how much to charge.

I always tell them that before they do any of that, they should GET a life coach. For many, the thought never occurred to them – and I find it amusing that a person who wants to become a life coach has never thought to get one. But that’s not the kicker! Some of these people who say they want to build a business around coaching others get really quiet when we begin to talk about how much one-on-one coaching can cost.

And that always leads me to ask this question: If you (person who wants to be a coach), don’t see the value in having a coach, how can you expect to convince others of the value of hiring you?

I came across this blog entry the other day, and it sums up my thoughts exactly!
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Watch the money

"How much life insurance do you have?"

Zig Ziglar liked to say that with that one question, you could tell if someone was a successful life insurance agent. If they're not willing to buy it with their own money, how can they honestly persuade someone else to do so?

If you're in the music business but you never buy tickets or downloads, can you really empathize with the people you're selling to?

My favorite: if you work for a non-profit and you don't give money to charity, what exactly are you doing in this job? I've met some incredibly generous people in the charitable world, but I can also report that a huge number of people—even on the fundraising side—would happily cross the street and risk a beating in order to avoid giving $100 to a cause that's not their own. And the shame of it is that this inaction on their part keeps them from experiencing the very emotion that they try so hard to sell.

Money is more than a transfer of value. It's a statement of belief. An ad agency that won't buy ads, a consultant who won't buy consulting, and a waiter who doesn't tip big—it's a sign, and not a good one. Seth's Blog

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Doreen Rainey is a Life Coach and Speaker who helps her clients Get RADICAL! For a FREE 30 day membership to the RADICAL Lifestyle Women's Network or to subscribe to her bi-weekly newsletter, visit her website. Join Doreen in the Washington, DC area for the 2010 Get RADICAL Women's Conference featuring Jillian Michaels, Fitness Trainer from The Biggest Loser and Rhonda Britten, Emmy Winner Life Coach from Starting Over and Celebrity Fit Club.

2nd Annual Get RADICAL Women's Conference

It's that time of year and I'm so excited!

Registration is now open for the 2010 Get RADICAL Women's Conference taking place on Saturday, March 27, 2010 at the Westfields Marriott in Chantilly, VA - just outside of Washington, DC.

Last year's conference was incredible! There was so much energy in the room as each speaker shared their strategies for getting ahead - and staying ahead - at work and in life. Women came from all over the country to learn, grow, network and get RADICAL!

I met women from California, Florida, Boston, Colorado, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Chicago - just to name a few. And of course, the Washington, DC area was well represented. As a matter of fact, we have already outgrown the hotel we used!

We are planning an awesome conference this year and would love for you to join us. Some of our speakers are returning with fresh insights and strategies that will build upon what they shared last year - including Jillian Michaels, Fitness Trainer and Life Coach from NBC's hit TV show, The Biggest Loser.
However, we also have some new speakers that will be joining us as well. They will be announced in the coming months so stay tuned!

If you came last year, I would LOVE to see you again. If this will be your first year joining us, I look forward to meeting you. With the caliber of speakers we have, this will be a career enhancing, life enriching experience that will impact your professional and personal life.

Early registration, which gives a discount off the regular registration fee, is now open for both general registration and VIP registration. A VIP registration gets you up close and personal with Jillian in our exclusive VIP luncheon. There's also front section seating and a few other great perks. These special registrations are limited so don't delay! There's even a 2 payment option.

Why "Get RADICAL"?

“Get Radical” is a Call!
A call for women to become bold and courageous enough to depart from the usual, expected or ordinary in order to take charge of their professional and personal life. A call for women to live with purpose and passion in all that they do. A call for women to experience fulfillment and contentment in their family life and in the business world. A call for women to enjoy the fruits of their hard work and reward themselves with fun!

“Get Radical” is a Challenge!
A challenge for women to step out of their comfort zone and explore new possibilities. A challenge for women to get the skills, education, and information they need to make smart choices when going after their goals. A challenge for women to set aside fear and replace it with faith and courage. A challenge for women to step out of doubt, uncertainty and hesitation and onto the path to success!

“Get Radical” is a Lifestyle!
A lifestyle dedicated to continuous improvement in finances, career, relationships, health and wellness, and fun! A lifestyle that understand the importance of investing in one’s self to continually learn and grow. A lifestyle that embraces the philosophy of selflessness – being willing to share with others by giving back!

In planning this day for you, we focused on gathering women who are experts in their field and have overcome challenges, difficulties, and adversities to achieve amazing success.

They'll share entertaining, informative, and poignant stories about the lessons they've learned, all the while inspiring you to take your goals and dreams and put them into action.

Don't miss this opportunity to laugh, learn, grow, connect with others, enhance your career and change your life.

See what a couple of our attendees said about last year's conference:

"This conference was an amazing, life changing experience. I would recommend it to anyone who is eager to learn, grow and take their life to another level of consciousness. It was a truly inspirational event."

"I ventured out of this comfort zone and traveled 7 hours to this conference on my own! Never have done(or would have done)something like that before...so glad I did. Left feeling empowered, and ready to create my dream life!"

Bumpy Ride or Smooth Sailing?

Is your life a smooth ride or a bit bumpy? One way to find out is to complete the Wheel of Life.

This is one of the initial exercises I ask my clients to complete when we begin coaching. While it's a short exercise, it’s a powerful way to give you a visual snapshot of how satisfied you are with where you are. The results give you a vivid visual representation of the way your life is currently, compared with the way you would ideally like it to be.

You'll be asked to rate 8 areas of your life:

• Career
• Money
• Health
• Friends/Family
• Significant Other/Relationship
• Personal Growth
• Fun/Recreation
• Physical Environment

If you want to see how bumpy or smooth your life ride is right now, do the exercise. But remember, the key is to be 100% honest with yourself and rate your level of satisfaction, right now, with where you are today and NOT where you want to be.

The information from this short exercise provides a wealth of information. It helps you see where you are and prioritize what you want to change. You can see where you may be out of balance or areas of your life you have been ignoring for one reason or another. Using this information, my clients and I decide what area(s) we want to focus on first.

So go ahead...take a few minutes and complete the wheel. Once done, you can see how smooth, or bumpy, your wheel is. You'll also get some tips on how to deal with the areas that need your attention.

Be sure to leave a comment and let me know what you learned!

Wheel Of Life Exercise

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Doreen Rainey is a Professional Life Coach and Speaker who helps her clients Get RADICAL! To subscribe to her bi-weekly newsletter and receive 7 RADICAL Tips, visit her website. For a FREE 30-day membership to her RadicalLifestyle.com coaching program, click here.

Don't Forget to Have Fun!

With all the talk of goals, success, dreams, and working to get what you want out of life. There's one very important thing you shouldn't neglect...or forget. Having some FUN!

In the middle of all that we do to advance in our careers, build our businesses, deal with our families, focus on our finances, and getting healthy and fit, we need to make sure we find the time to sit back, chill out, and do something that makes us laugh, relax and enjoy the moment.

That's what I did tonight when me and my hubby went to see Beyonce in concert (my ears are still ringing)!

Here are a couple of pics and a couple of short video clips of Say My Name and Irreplaceable. By the way, I'm definitely an amateur when it comes to video taping!

And remember...HAVE FUN!

The Myth of Multi-Tasking

What are you working on?

I get asked this question a lot. From family, friends, and business associates. Each time I’m asked, I roll off a list of projects that I’ve either just started, am working on, or finishing up – sometimes up to 10 things. But a funny thing has been happening over the past several months. Whenever someone asks me that question, my answer has been the same. As in the same projects. They are all still in progress.

That led me to a startling realization. Nothing was complete. Done. Finished. Over with. In the can. Wrapped up.

How could that be? I haven’t been sitting around, twiddling my thumbs. Yet, months and months have gone by and I am still answering that question by rolling off the same list of projects. Is that possible? What is the problem? I feel like I should have been further along - if not done with some of these projects. Yet, I'm not.

Then, I took a look at the number of projects that were ongoing and tried to piece together the time I’d been spending working on each one. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that when I set aside time to work on something, I wasn’t really working only on it. I was checking email, answering calls, stopping to do a quick thing such as editing a letter or updating information on an upcoming teleclass or program, or getting sidetracked with “research” (which is a nice word for surfing the Internet!). In essence, I was multi-tasking.

Now, multitasking is a big buzz word that corporate America loves. Look at many job descriptions or job ads and you'll see that word as a descriptor of the type of person they are looking for. It means: doing more with less, getting it all done, able to handle a fast paced environment, doing many things at one time, or executing several task simultaneously.

And we have embraced this concept in all its glory.

Do you have multiple computer programs open at one time? Do you have multiple Internet pages open? Is your email always open and popping up a notify window when you receive a new message? Do you switch from project to project? Are you in meetings but working on something unrelated? Is your work constantly interrupted by people coming to your office, yet you keep working while talking to them? Do you talk on the phone while answering emails? Do you work on multiple projects during the same timeframe? Are you on a conference call or webinar and working on unrelated tasks?

These may seem like small things, but they can be very distracting and end up extending time on some projects versus saving time. And while you may get things done – they may not be done at its best, as you were not giving it your full attention.

That’s what has happened to me. While I’ve been so focused on accomplishing all my projects, I really should have been focused on finishing one project and then moving on to the next. What is my lesson learned?

Multi-tasking is a myth.

Why do I say that? Check out this quote from Dave Crenshaw:

When most people refer to multitasking they mean simultaneously performing two or more things that require mental effort and attention. Examples would include saying we’re spending time with family while were researching stocks online, attempting to listen to a CD and answering email at the same time, or pretending to listen to an employee while we are crunching the numbers. What most people refer to as multitasking, I refer to as ’switchtasking.’ Why?

Because the truth is we really cannot do two things at the same time - we are only one person with only one brain. Neurologically speaking, it has been proven to be impossible. What we are really doing is switching back and forth between two tasks rapidly, typing here, paying attention there, checking our ‘crackberry’ here, answering voicemail there back and forth back and forth at a high rate. Keep this up over a long period of time, and you have deeply ingrained habits that cause stress and anxiety and dropped responsibilities and a myriad of productivity & focus problems. It’s little wonder so many people complain of increasingly short attention spans!

Who is this man? He’s the author of The Myth of Multitasking. And I think he’s on to something. I’m going to be incorporating his strategies into the way I manage my work. That way, when someone asks me “What are you working on?” My list will be extremely short. And it will constantly change – because my projects are now being completed.

The Myth of Multitasking: How "Doing It All" Gets Nothing Done