Thursday, February 12, 2009

Thank You, Jackie

Thank you Jackie Lesser.

We met during our coaching training program at the Coaches Training Institute. She then became my first life coach. One of the characteristics I loved about Jackie was her seemingly always calm demeanor. She had a peace about her that fascinated me.

During our first session, I got an idea of where some of that calmness came from when she gave me a book and told me it was required reading. Of course, I followed her instructions and have been grateful every since.

The principles taught in this book allowed me to approach situations at work, with my husband, with my family and with my business in a whole new light. By applying these principles, it was as if a weight was lifted off of me that I didn’t realize I was carrying around.

Since that session over 4 years ago, I have not only embraced the mantras shared in the book, I have reread it several times and have shared it with family and friends. And of course, I want to share it with you! It’s The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

The next couple of posts from me will take you through the 4 agreements outlined in the book – agreements you make with yourself. So, let’s start with number one.

Agreement #1: Be Impeccable with Your Word

I don’t know what has happened to integrity in this world, but being honest and being a person of your word should be your top priority 100% of the time. Whether you give your word at work, with your spouse or with your children, the respect you want, the authority you think you deserve, and the admiration that should be yours only comes when people can trust you.

That’s why you should always choose your words carefully. Refrain from gossip, refrain from putting others down, and refrain from saying one thing but really meaning another.

When you said “I love you.” Was that the complete sentence or did you really mean “I love you when you do what I want” or “I love you as long as our finances are stable.”

When you said “You are not allowed any extra activities until you bring your grades up.” Was that the complete sentence or did you really mean “You are not allowed any extra activities until you bring your grades up unless you are getting on my nerves and I want you to go play somewhere" or “You are not allowed any extra activities until you bring you grades up unless you cry, plead, and make me feel guilty for being a parent.”

When you said “I’ll have that report to you on Monday.” Was that the complete sentence or did you really mean “I’ll have that report to you on Monday unless I have to work late to get it done” or "I’ll have that report to you on Monday unless 'so and so' doesn’t do their report.” (Because why should you be the only one working hard?)

And let's not forget that we need to be impeccable with the words we tell ourselves. Do you love and respect yourself enough to keep your word to you? What about when you say things like:

"I will eat right and exercise to lose weight and be healthier."
"I will no longer allow this person to bring me down."
"I will finish writing that book."
"I will go back to school."
"I will not let my children run my household."
"I will get out of debt this year."

Be impeccable with your word - to yourself and others.


  1. WOW-THIS IS DEEP!!! :) I too have read the 4 Agreements and you have inspired me to re-read it. We tend to be impeccable with our words in areas that we are the strongest, but things get a little fuzzy in the areas that are challenging to us. However, as blog entry clearly demonstrates, we should be true to our word in every area of our lives. Great post!

  2. Great post as always. Can't wait to see the rest of the agreements. Or better yet, I should just go and get the book.

  3. You are right, Tawana. It seems so easy to focus on our strengths and kinda, sorta, sometimey follow through on the other things. Sometimes it's because people don't know how to say "no." It becomes easy to keep your word when you only give your word for things you actually WANT to do.