Agreement #3 Don’t Assume Anything!
I can’t tell you how many times I had to pull my foot out of my mouth because I made an assumption. Assumptions can be a dangerous if they are based on first impressions, little data, or prejudices. Actually, making an assumption is a form or prejudice. It’s the act of prejudging without any supporting information.
Ruiz writes: “We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for
The biggest challenge in making assumptions is that most of the time we aren’t aware that we are doing it. Our assumptions come from the way we were raised, how we were educated, where we have lived, who is in our circle of influence, and our religion or customs. Because of this - we don't recognize our assumptions and it becomes very hard to correct ourselves.
Assumptions impact our view of society at large:
- When you see a black man with tattoos and braided hair – what do you think?
- When you see a thin woman in a Chanel suit with a designer bag – what do you think?
- When you see a woman in a grocery line with several children, counting her pennies - what do you think?
- Your spouse or significant other should know what you need and want – you shouldn’t have to tell them.
- You assume your spouse or significant other will handle money a certain way because that’s they way it was done in your household when you were growing up.
- You assume your friends will ultimately betray you so you are always guarded - never becoming close to anyone.
- You assume the clients that you have today will be your clients tomorrow.
- You assume that if you do good work, your clients will pay you on time.
- You assume old clients don’t need to hear from you as often or receive your best customer service.